Neji's IT
by Hybrid Fantasy
Summary: Tenten did it. Lee did it. So why can't Sakura? One-shot in which Sakura want's to touch Neji's IT. And IT is not what you think it is.  Sasuke and Naruto learned that the hard way  1 review-1 cookie 3


"Neji-kun!"

"Huh?"

"May I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure, Sakura, go ahead."

"How come you let nobody touch it?"

"Nooo, Sakura, not this again."

"But…"

"We've already had this discussion…"

"But…"

"it's the eighth time this week…"

"But…"

"And I'm getting pretty damn tired…"

"But…"

"Of all this shit…"

"But…"

"No more buts, Sakura!"

"But!"

"Sakura!"

"But…"

"How old are you, seven?"

"But you let Tenten touch it!"

"Tenten was a special case. It will never, and I mean never, happen ever again."

"It's not fair, you know, how come she can touch it and I can't?"

"Grow up, Sakuta, you're a ninja, for Kami's sake."

"I get it. you like Tenten more. That's it. You… You…"

"Fuck, Sakura, it's not that!"

"Then what is it? Why did you let Tenten touch it?"

"Don't start, Sakura. I hate this."

"But Neji, I deserve at least a decent answer."

"What you're doing here is anything but decent."

"Enlighten the situation for me. Tell me why Tenten has the right to touch it and I don't. Or even better, if you let me touch I promise you will hear from me no more."

"Stupid much, eh, Sakura?"

"Neji-kun!"

"I'm not letting you touch it and that's final!"

"Well screw you, I'll touch it anyway!"

"Hey, Sakura, wh-what are you doing? G-get back!"

"Let me touch it!"

"No way in hell!"

"Let me touch it, or else…"

"Or else what? You're gonna pull out your hair needles and carve them in my skin till I bleed to death or are you gonna-ARGH!"

"Told ya."

"You bitch!"

"Hey, watch your language!"

"I'm been physically abused! Neglected! Harmed!"

"I warned you. Let me touch it or else this time my nails will slice for real my name on your forehead!"

"Dammit, Sakura, it hurt!"

"Let me touch it?"

"No."

"Argh! Goddammit, stop already!"

"Letmetouchit!"

"Fucking hell no! get a life!"

"fine."

"…"

"…"

"Sakura?"

"I'm not talking to you."

"You just did, smart ass."

"Starting from now."

"Don't make that face."

"HM!"

"It makes you look ugly."

"Arh, fuck you!"

"What do you see, Sakura is talking to me."

"Screw you."

"stop it."

"Fuck you."

"Cut it out, Sakura."

"Go fuck a tree, or fuck fate, but in your case fate butt-rapes you, soo…"

"Sakura! Language!"

"I give a fuck. You're going doooown!"

"Kami, Sakura, stop this bullshit."

"Not until you let me touch it!"

"It won't happen. What happened back there with Tenten was an accident and I swore I would never let it happen again."

"You're such a liar, Neji."

"What happened, Sakura, you ran out off swear words and so you decided to associate false adjectives/nouns in order to express your ingratitude towards my lack of cooperation?"

"You and your big fucked up sentences. You know what I mean."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't."

"Yeah, you do. You're a liar and we both know it."

"Illuminate me, how come I am a liar, how come I am something I am totally unaware of?"

"You said Tenten was the only one who had touched it."

"Yes, and I am not proud of it, it should have never had happened."

"Here you are wrong."

"I am not."

"Yes you are, because Tenten isn't the only who has touched it."

"Are you assuming…"

"That someone else did? Yes, I am 100% sure of it."

"How dare you…"

"Lee did!"

"What. The. Fuck."

"I saw it, I saw it, I really did! We were training together; I was taking shelter behind a tree when I heard Lee's pleading voice. He wanted to touch it just as much as I did, and still do, and after minutes of arguing, you gave in and he touched it! right before my shocked eyes!"

"How did you…"

"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. As long as you do what I say."

"You manipulative little bitch."

"Listen to me. Everybody knows Tenten touched it, it's no surprise. But if they hear that Lee did it too, your reputation is going down the drain."

"Fuck it, Sakura, nobody will believe you."

"Here you're wrong. They will. I have Lee to confirm my beliefs."

"You sick slut."

"Ah, language, Neji, language!"

"Argh. What do you intent to do?"

"I'm going to leave you no choice but to let me touch it. if you do, the world will know nothing about you and Lee, and so your high ranked status will remain at the same elevated level."

"I don't like this."

"You left me choice."

"Sakura, please don't"

"Just a little touch and I promise I will never speak of this ever again! Besides, I don't know why you're so protective about it. I'm sure it's beautiful, and in good shape, and silky and…"

"It's no that…"

"Neji, it's striking! You can't miss it, it's absolutely eye candy!"

"One touch?"

"Just one."

"And you'll never speak about this ever again?"

"Never ever."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"Right…"

"Come closer. Great. Let me."

"Touch it, I know."

"Oh, finally!"

"Here goes."

Naruto was too shocked to speak or to think about ramen. Sasuke was too marked to keep his cool. They had both listened o Sakura's and Neji's conversation only to be taken aback and utterly disgusted. Neji was a manwhore. And Sakura was desprerate. They kept asking themselves the same question. Why Neji? What did he have and they didn't? If she would've asked them to let her touch theirs they would've said yes without blinking. They were even more desperate than her.

In order to make themselves feel better, Naruto went to buy some ramen and Sasuke went home to watch porn. Both had visibly saddened expressions, not because they had lost Sakura as possible date-partner but because Sai was right: with Sakura out of the picture, NaruXSasu is the most canon couple.

"See, Neji! I told you it wouldn't be so bad!"

"Yeah, I guess you were right."

"And trust me when I say this, it's absolutely wonderful."

"Thank you. Tenten and Lee had the same opinion."

"I still don't know how it's possible for somebody to have hair like you! I mean the hours you need to spend in order to make it straight and with no wild bangs, incredible."

"Yeah, it can be difficult."

"I can only imagine how much shampoo and conditioner goes in that hair to make it look so freaking magazine-like!"

"It is, indeed, kind of hard, but I can manage."

"You make me so envious. I wish I had your hair"

"I got a free ticked to the spa next Saturday. I can show you how to blend plants and to make your own specially designed hair-mask. Interested?"

"Hell yeah."


End file.
